Ever since I started walking, my mom was there to make sure I didn’t get into trouble. She passed on mannerisms that her mom had pass, as well as providing the natural love, care and attention a mother burdens herself with. But we as children don’t usually respond the way they want. That’s why there is something called ‘ass kicking’. It comes in many forms. Sometimes it makes you cry, sometimes it makes you angry and sometimes, it outright HURTS. My mom’s method of shaping me into a proper gentleman… a feather duster. Not just any kind, but one made in Hong Kong. It looks soft, fluffy and purely for cleaning right? WRONG. You switch the ends of it and you’ve got the Chinese Ass-Kicker. Two things for the price of one – now that’s a deal in any Chinese person’s eyes.
I remember one time when I was 5. My sister and I were out in the front having productive fun, like throwing rocks over at the neighbor’s yard. You kids nowadays have cooler things to play with like all-too-real video games and internet. Back then, we only had rocks and Garbage Pail Kids – take your pick. An hour later, after my sister and I had grown tired of chucking rocks into the neighbor’s pool. I hear the most ear-deafening scream of my name.
“DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!”
The second I heard that, I knew very well where my ass was destined. My sister and I quickly scoured the living room of our tiny house and took refuge in a nightstand behind the couch. I looked over at my sister, who looked liked a deer in headlights. The door opened and it slammed. I could hear her footsteps in the living room and could hear her running around the house. Every time the footsteps got louder, my sister and I ducked our heads into our knees, shaking. FUCK. We were so fucked. And all of a sudden, I see my mom’s face at the end of the nightstand. NO GOOD. She told us to get out and we sat there like still wildlife. MAN, we were so fucked. I eventually walked out and I can still remember the look on her face. NOT HAPPY. I admitted to throwing the rocks at the neighbor’s yard because I was bored and didn’t have those all-too-real video games and internet. Next thing I know, she’s equipped with Mr. Feather Duster. And I looked over at my little sister who was really feeling bad for me. She looked so sad. I slowly turned around and closed my eyes. THE END.
Before you call any social workers, you’d be glad to know that after this one incident, I didn’t get into any trouble until I was off on my own. No more visits to Mr. Feather Duster. My sister and I got our ass whooped as little kids, but we now understand the importance of it as adults. She meant well, as did my dad, who instead of using the feather duster, preferred his right foot. And we thank them both for keeping us in line.
So here we are on Mother’s Day 20-plus years later. I’m married now to a woman I love dearly and on the path to starting my own family. Mom will become a grandma one day and will be there to see our children. But one thing is still on her agenda… kicking my ass. Not the feather duster way… but with health, work, saving money, buying a house, blah blah blah. It never ends. But its what a mother does. I have to say that my mom and dad are the biggest influences in my interest for cooking and nothing makes them happier than providing them with soul food. This year was different though… it was our first time doing a dual Mother’s Day dinner for my mom and Jeni’s mom.
We decided to do seafood as the dinner theme. Making me eat seafood as a kid was the bane of my mother’s existence. I was food poisoned at an early age by some Chinese-style black clams and it traumatized for nearly 20 years. TWENTY YEARS without SEAFOOD. My sister used to shake her head and say, “you don’t know what you’re missing,” while devouring something delicious like Chiu-Chow style garlic fried crab. Jeni and I got up early and headed to our favorite farmer’s market in Hollywood. We had been so busy during the week that we didn’t have time to plan the menu. But that’s where farmer’s markets come in handy. With some spontaneity and creativity, you can make a fine meal with the purveyed goods. Not to mention the freshness of the food.
Some young shitake mushrooms. An earthiness that goes well with seafood.
Sweet, crunchy English peas – good enough to be eaten raw with a little salt and spice.
Jeni made a delicious fruit bowl with the farmer’s market fruit with wine and simple syrup.
Manila clams from 99 Ranch Market. Not so Farmer’s Marketish, but hey we’re not rich.
One of the hardest things for me is thinking of a fish to cook with. There are just way TOO MANY. Check out 99 Ranch and the filipino market, Seafood City, and you’ll know what I mean. I wanted something light and remembered a delicious fish I had at
Wylie Dufresne’s WD-50 in New York. Olive-Oil Poached Turbot with Smoked Bulgur and Coffee-Saffron sauce. The
turbot is a goofy-looking flat fish found mainly in the North Atlantic.
I always pay a visit to
Rob of the Carlsbad Aquafarm. He’s a super nice guy that really enjoys watching people eat oysters. Not in a creepy way. He’s just passionate about his seafood. I picked some Carlsbad Blondes because of their delicate cucumber finish. You can find him at the Santa Monica Farmer’s Market on Saturdays and at the Hollywood Farmer’s Market on Sundays. $10/dozen oysters.
Alaskan King Crab, Poached Egg & Haricot Vertes Frisee Salad
I mixed the king crab with my favorite, smoked paprika, and the haricot vertes in some creme fraiche, lemon juice and S&P. Served it on top of some frisee with Jeni’s citronette vinaigrette with a poached egg. The idea here was to crack the poached egg over the frisee and bring in the crab and green beans. It was very light and fresh.
Manila Clams with Spanish Chorizo, Leeks & White Wine
You can’t go wrong with clams + butter + wine. I sautéd some shallots, spanish chorizo, garlic and leeks and added the clams. Then I poured about a 1/4 bottle of white wine with some chicken stock and dropped in some butter. Cover the pot for a few minutes until you see the clams open up and stir them around, making sure all that delicious juice gets inside the clam shells. Note: I used to do this with Mexican chorizo and I think it tastes better with Spanish chorizo because it’s more firm and spicy. Serve this with some toasted bread slices so your guests can sop up all that goodness.
Pan-Seared Turbot with Shitake Mushrooms, English Peas & Spatzle
I originally wanted to poach this in olive oil and thyme but I didn’t have enough olive oil. Instead we pan-fried the fish in a skillet. I had marinated the fish about an hour before in some olive oil, thyme, pimenton (Spanish chili powder) and S&P. The fish took about 5 minutes on one side over medium heat, just long enough for the skin to crisp up. I have to say, I have never had a more milky/moist fish like turbot. It is fabulous and highly used for its delicate flavor/texture and similarity to halibut. In fact, it’s BETTER than halibut. Our moms were flipping out on this fish because they had never heard of it. The combination of the delicate fish, earthy shitakes, crunchy peas and buttery spatzle was perfect.
Farmer’s Market Fruit & Cake with Frozen Balsamic Vinegar Cream & Sauternes Syrup
We found this cake for $1 at 99 Ranch and just topped it off with fresh fruit and cold balsamic vinegar cream. This was an excellent way to finish off the seafood dinner.
To my mom, thank you for everything – love you.
And to my Mom #2, I’m glad we’re one family now.
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